1) What are your hobbies?

Well, I like long walks on the beach, watching sunsets and stalking my next victims of my serial murderous rampages – Not in any particular order.

2) Do you know you look like _____________ from the band ______________?

I get many comments I look like either a drummer or a bassist from some local band I have never heard nor heard of.  Not that it bothers me but, if there are that many people who look like me, it is surprising I have not done time for something they did.

3) What are your beliefs in life?

I have a few philosophical beliefs.

1)      We are all flies drawn to a single ball of shit called Earth.

2)      Today is the worst day of the rest of your strife (aka The Cynic’s credo)

3)      The day you achieve perfection, a bunch of Jews will hang you on a cross.

4) What meds are you taking at this time?

I am taking a couple of different meds at any given time.  Not as a suppository!

5) What do you do for a living?

During the day, I work as a network engineer.  At night, I work as a dancer in a male revue for unattractive men – Chunder from Down Under.

6) Are you ever serious?


7) Are you involved with anyone?

If you read this and do not know the answer, you do not have access to my site's private area.  However, to minimize requests for access, the answer is not at this time.  Feel free to email me for current updates to this question.  As for third party answers to this question, Well, the voices in my head, when they are not snoring, say ‘no’. My Sarcastic Answer Ball (http://www.mcphee.com/goodies/sarcastic.html) says, ‘Whatever’.

8) What songs do you feel typify your feelings?

None right now. Most of the new music out now annoys the hell out of me. Poorly written lyrics and mediocre playing.

9) You hate your ex-wife.  What songs do you listen to in order to stew in a vat of hatred and loathing toward her being?

I Hope You Die by The Bloodhound Gang.

10) I thought I saw you in a movie. Have you ever been in a movie?

Actually, I played a small role in a low-budget movie called Heavy Metal Cannibals that, to my knowledge, was never released.  I played a character whose name is Mose.  My head blows up in the movie.  It was NOT a porn movie.

11) Who are your friends? or Who can tolerate your attitude?

Almost all people I know are online.    There are a few others I know from past jobs, etc.

12)Why do you have a webpage?

Why not?  Why the hell are you reading it!?!?  Oh, sorry.  This is an outlet for me.  Not that I have a ton of time but I do need an outlet.  Exercise is the other outlet.  (It also takes time).

13) What is your astrological sign?

I am a Scorpio.  I’m gonna die fucking. (to quote Chris Rock)

14) What astrological signs do you prefer in a relationship?

People who have their head out of their ass – for starters.  That is not an astrological sign but it is a sign of a promising start. 

15) What is your family heritage?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium….

Oh, a big mix of English, French, German, Scottish, damn near anything else in Western Europe and a smattering of Native American thrown in.

16) What state do you live in?

Diminished Capacity is the legal term for it.

17) What artists do you like?

Rodin’s Gates of Hell (http://www.artchive.com/artchive/R/rodin/gates1.jpg.html) is probably the most impressive work I have seen.  Most other works by Rodin are quite impressive as well (especially the marble pieces). (http://www.musee-rodin.fr/welcome.htm)

18) What is your Height/Weight/Eye color?

I am 5’7” (after stretching  ;)  ).  My weight is dropping since I began exercising and eating better foods but will remain undisclosed here.   My eye color, it depends.  They change depending on mood and surroundings.  They are mostly streaks of brown and green that look gold from a distance.  For some reason, a lot of people like my eyes.

19) What is your idea of an ideal woman?

One who fogs a mirror.

No, I like intelligence, humor and a reasonable degree of sanity.  A hard combo nowadays. None live where I do.

20) What is your favorite food?

I love bread since it can be made into so many things and have so many textures and flavors.

21) What is your motto?

Never underestimate the self-importance or stupidity of an end-user.

22) What is your favorite music?

Most anything except rap and country.  I can deal with rap if it has a real political message and country is ok if it is lyrically well written. But most of the newer music can be damned annoying.

23) What countries have you been to?

Mexico, England, France, Italy, Germany, Hungary, Austria, Luxembourg and Holland. Oh, and Texas (it's like a whole other country)

24) What kind of personality do you have?

I test as an INTP on the Myers Briggs test. (http://www.ibiblio.org/pub/academic/psychology/alt.psychology.personality/profiles/intp.html).

25) Do you hate stupid people?

Yes, they are irritating, boring and should not be allowed to breed.  Somehow, they manage to and far too often.

26) How do I contact you?

You want to?!?!  Ok, email is dan-jones[at]usa[dot]net.  ICQ is 13779155.  AOL IM is djinarl (I am rarely online with AOL IM, though). Also, I can be found on MSN as djinarl[at]yahoo[dot]com and Y! as djinarl. No Jabber for me.

Here is a picture of me in case you are wondering what I look like: Pic of Dan Jones. FYI: I am the guy next to the girl, not the guy in the background who looks like he is peeing.?