March 25, 2002 – It’s 2 am (but the fear is not gone). OK. That is much too vague of a reference to 80’s Pop music.

It has been a decent day – for once. Oh yeah, why am I awake at 2am? Well, I can’t sleep. Oddly, I fell asleep at about 9 pm and woke up at 12 am. I was laying on my arm which was severely asleep (ouch) and had been having odd dreams about a three column chart and the second column was dependent on the first in some odd subconscious manner. I think I was trying to flowchart the process of how the chart works. I have no recollection of what was being processed. Dreams are like that sometimes. It is odd since my work, as of late, has not required much in the way of that type of thought processing.

So, I am watching TV – HBO to be precise. I am a bit irritated because this is normally my Comedy Central night (Duckman, Critic, TV Funhouse) but none of them have been on for three weeks or so. So, HBO it is…and for the third time this month, the movie Attraction is on. I realize HBO repeats movies but this movie is interesting in that both of the female stars (Samantha Mathis and Gretchen Moll) are just damned hot. I realize Samantha Mathis’ character is supposed to be kind of mousy but the character appeals to me. I need a few like that at work. Wait, there are a few but mostly taken – sadly.

I think I have stopped as much of the seething about the work fiasco. I still don’t think I should have to own the process of the social activities committee but, as the saying goes, if you want something done right, do it yourself. This is why I don’t let other people mess with my PC hardware…or network hardware…or wiring.

Hmmm…I just got an email from sendacrush.com saying someone I know thought I had a crush on her (or I guess it could have been a him). I gathered from that someone received an email from sendacrush.com and it queried for a guess (by email address) as to who it was. So, either someone thinks I have a crush on them (read: they think I am obsessed) or maybe they are interested in me and hoped it was mutual. I am not sure which since the site does not tell you who it was/is. It was addressed to my usa.net account, which is not known to people at my work (other than my boss and two others who would have no interest in me) so it would not have been any of them. I can’t think it would be any of the people I know online. Hmmm…

Of course, it could be just a ploy to get me to join it.

Can’t you tell I am an INTP?